The Great Lockdown - a message from the desert fathers and mothers

Could it be that God is using - Anthony, Agathon, Macarius, Poeman, Theodora, Sarah, Syncletica - unfamiliar names and lives to speak to us in the unfamiliar terrain of our day? Whereas we easily gravitate to the wisdom of Merton, Pascal, St. John of the Cross, Thomas a Kempis, John Bunyan or Mother Teresa of Calcutta, why not traverse further back in time? I'm no historian but from cursory readings - a few centuries after the resurrection of Christ and broadcast of the good news - we see how society's depraved condition drove these spiritual greats to flee to the desert to literally save their souls. A few more large backward strides, and we find ourselves face-to-face with Israel's similar depravity in the old testament.

"Society...was regarded as a shipwreck from which each single individual man had to swim for his life...There were men who believed that to let oneself drift along, passively accepting the tenets and values of what they knew as society, was purely and simply a disaster"
Thomas Merton, The Wisdom of the Desert [1/2]

The grace of isolation

Today, there is no need for retreat. Isolation is upon us - one and all. Perhaps that in itself is a grace - a surprising sanctuary where we find ourselves increasingly repented, receptive, and restored. Our hearts grow expansively with minds made more sensitive to God, in ways we find difficult to articulate. Partially because we stand in the eye of the storm, at peace with God but somewhat trembling at the grand order churning around us. In this space, our souls wait for God, more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning,...He himself will redeem Malaysia from all her sins (Psalm 130:6,8).

Hearts beat whole and strong in this posture - pumped with a flowing desire for lasting change in our spiritual way of life, post-COVID 19. Here, I sincerely petition our triune God - "Thank you Lord Almighty for keeping us safe. I know, as with plagues of past, you are drawing my sinful heart and that of societies and nations back to your fearsome and loving embrace. I want to break the pattern of old normals. No longer living any parts of Israel's healing - wander astray - transgress - crisis - repentance cycles. Be pleased to show me how not just to fly high, but to last long as well."

"My son, look at the Apophthegmata Patrum - the sayings of the desert fathers and mothers, and open your heart to me unreservedly." And so I did, picking up the treasures of solitude and silence in the process.

All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone, Pascal

I began to truly understand the invitation to Solitude, so wrongly misplaced. It was not a matter of privacy (where I can find a personal space to gather my thoughts), nor was it rest (to recharge my batteries). It is, as Father Henri Nouwen describes, being in the "furnace of transformation". In my mind's eye, kind of like standing in the burning bush - but not consumed by the blazing heat.

Whatever form it takes, solitude distills out my false-self, vainglory and superficial securities. It destroys the feeble scaffoldings I have constructed and clung onto. Its not just the things of the world, but even relationships and vocation meant for good that have evolved into disordered attachments. In other words, I've kept asking of -- my spouse, children, parents, colleagues, friends, work or leisure -- for what only God can give. And when perceptions or affirmations fall short of expectations, quiet anger slithers in. All it takes is a crafty trigger, and I am rendered helpless to the release of pent-up emotions.

Another blindspot that the 'fleeing men of old' point to is that of judging others. So many bible verses attest to its insidious nature often in the simplest of forms. During the MCO, when out for groceries and noticing someone jogging along the way or couples shopping in Jaya Grocer, my gut instincts kick in - "how can these people be so like that". If I do not change, the COVID-19 recovery phase will see me suffering many more unedifying "how cans". I shudder at the thought - holier than thou legalism does have a long track record of appeal and hold - fertile ground for the bitter roots of hypocrisy. Unaware, even spiritual practices can quickly turn burdensome.

And so what solitude does is to create a sacred space for discernment. Here, measuring our value with the yardstick of others can be given up in exchange for compassion, when there is no longer distance and distinction that prevent us from fully being with others. To be sure, my inner resistance shall doeth all possible to avoid confronting these great struggles. I would employ the trusted methods of busyness and distraction, more so when attending to divine matters. But ah, thanks to the godly legacy of desert fathers, I can now grasp the soul-penetrating gift of solitude.

Peregrinatio Est Tacere - to be silent keeps us pilgrims 

One day, Archbishop Theopilus came to the desert to visit Abba Pambo, who did not utter a word. The brethren pleaded, "Father, say something to the archbishop, so that he may be edified". Abba Pambo replied, "If he has not been edified by my silence, he will not be edified by my speech".

Everyday, we waddle through a flood of words (Proverbs 10:19). Such is the torrent of our waist-high  and rising waters that in COVID-19 times, WHO has a parallel term for it - infodemic! Here, we pause and intuitively recognise three truths. First, the refrain of 'how I wish I didn't say that' (the tongue is a restless evil that no human being can tame - James 3:8). Second, that words are powerful to the extreme (God spoke us and our world into existence). Third, that the absence of words does not equate to silence within.

The desert fathers "knew that every conversation tended to interest them in this world, to make them in heart less of strangers here and more of citizens". A typical reaction is to dismiss such ascetic notions as being out of touch with twenty first century reality. But could this belie a deeper biblical truth? - Do not love the world or anything in it. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him (1 John 2:15).

Yet, we need to make clear a distinction. Such pilgrimage silence was a means of listening of God, not of escaping sin. What was it that so appealed to the monks of old? Father Henri calls this the Divine Silence, where we are invited to participate in the creative and recreative power of the divine Word. We speak new life when words embody the silence from which they emerge. This is a quality of heart that abides even when we are in conversation with others - where words are no longer superfluous, inauthentic or shallow. Oh, what wisdom and beauty silence can bring!

Returning after COVID-19 on solid ground

"They knew that they were helpless to do any good for others as long as they floundered about in the wreckage. But once they got a foothold on solid ground, things were different. Then they had not only the power but even the obligation to pull the whole world to safety after them"
Thomas Merton, Wisdom of the Desert [2/2]

I love how Mother Teresa and Pastor Chew frames the divine vision ahead of us. That in the kingdom construct - God calls us to be faithful, not successful. We are tasked with process, in order to serve outcomes that belong to God.

Perhaps Merton's insight of the powerful ministry of the desert fathers upon returning from their 'Great Lockdowns' can be our post COVID-19 inspiration and blueprint. Simply being alone with  God (solitude) and listening intently to Him (silence) lights the chambers of our hearts, revealing inner paths to the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6).