Active-waiting - a divine remedy for MCO and beyond
Waiting - has become for me such an unnatural posture.
I sit quietly and stare at the distorted, worldly mould of an impatient heart eager for results and immediacy. Searching within, I find this to be neither a case of un-delayed gratification nor of petulant demands. It concerns healthy thy-kingdom come desires and a deeper longing to understand "wait" according to biblical tenets. With outstretched arms, I hold out the vision of a beautiful new normal beyond COVID-19, secure upon the foundation of waiting upon God. This life is one fully lived in the present moment - watchful and urgent yet at-ease and filled with expectant hope. What we could simply call 'active-waiting'.
This falls farther from Noah's precarious 40 or 150-days in the ark, and much closer to Simeon and Anna's experiences. In their words and actions - with unmistakable and careful revelation - we can resonate with a lifelong posture of waiting in devotion to God.
...a man called Simeon, who was righteous and devout...moved by the Spirit, he went to the temple courts..."Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation..."
...a prophetess Anna,...she never left the temple, worshipping day and night, fasting and praying...coming up to them [Joseph and Mary]...she spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.
And, like Mary, our innerselves repeatedly open up 'to treasure all these things [about Jesus] and ponder them in our hearts'.
(Luke 2:19, 25-38, 51)
Such a vision of active-waiting is deeply enthralling - with spirits affixed on the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. Yet if I am brutally honest - over my lifetime thus far, this kingdom-line-of-sight is more of an exception. Instead worldliness and apathy, aided by distraction, is the norm that quickly fills in the space of waiting. Perhaps I am too harsh with myself. Or not. Could this season be God's firm grace to heal and restore my interior perspective?
'There is a time for action, a time for "commitment", but never for total involvement in the intricacies of a movement. There is a moment of innocence and kairos, when action makes a great deal of sense.
There is a time to listen, in the active life as everywhere else, and the better part of action is waiting, not knowing what next, and not having a glib answer'
Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander
Here is a life where in the very centre of uncertainty - the more we wait, the clearer our destination becomes. As the fog dissipates, we smile and wonder what sort of oxymoron 'active-waiting' is. How can this be practical in a spiritual sense - some bread we can take with us for the day?
If I may suggest, this is simply a divine invitation to let our souls be poor, pining and passionate before God.
Poor in spirit, but rich towards God
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven (Matt 5:3)
And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry". "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself? This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich towards God." (Luke 12:19-21)
A great irony - we are rich towards God by becoming poor in spirit. And the kingdom of heaven is ours. In other words, when we understand our Maker desires God-dependency and not self-sufficiency, we can begin traversing the stairway of heaven from our hearts. The question is, how poor am I in spirit? How much do I comprehend the truth of my utter reliance on God - for this very next bated breath I am about to take. Oh, I shall see the kingdom with such clarity and express great riches of gratitude to God - if only - oh my spirit, you would remain poor, let go and abide in God's tender care.
Pining for God - give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning
"Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, like men waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately open the door for him. It will be good for those servants whose master finds them watching when he comes. I tell you the truth, he will dress himself to serve, will have them recline at the table and will come and wait on them" (Luke 12:35-37)
When was it when I last pined for my Lord Jesus Christ to return, to come and save me from the world's miseries? Sad to say, I can't recall such redemptive fervor and feel largely disconnected from passages such as these to remain watchful.
To be sure, the darkness around me is frigid. But within lies is a soft glow - a warm hidden ember waiting to be kindled - that of my broken spirit aching for God in fullest measure. So I arise, dress myself, find my lamp and gently place it on the altar of my heart. Like manna, I pray for daily portions of flowing oil to stay aflame. And the blessed assurance - oh, that pure joy of reclining in fellowship with You - as the door is opened and my pining soul is found wanting...watching...waiting.
Moving from a posture of Action to Passion
Action has a way of solidifying our identity. Rightly and wrongly so, perhaps.
We hear James affirm - faith without deeds is useless (James 2:20). Much of our modern day devotion, wisdom and obedience to God is derived from how Jesus ministered - teaching, healing, leading, transforming and above all, loving. This sits well with the strong cultural current to make our lives count, indeed to leave a godly legacy for the next generation. These are desires worth rejoicing countless times over...when in season.
In The Stature of Waiting, W.H.Vanstone opens our hearts and minds to another type of season - that of passion (Greek πασχω "to suffer, to be acted on"). This kind of waiting is a time of being thrust into a place of suffering and having to stay there. To understand this, we need only to think of our Lord Jesus. After ministry came another time - when He was handed over - and became the one to whom things were done. Jesus's words to Peter echoes this narrative: "...when you are old...someone else will lead you to where you do not want to go (John 21:18)."
To a certain extent, we know this 'waiting in passion'. Upon the loss of a loved one, an afflicting illness, dark nights of our soul - where hours can take forever to get by. Very little can match how excruciating these pauses were or are in the grand milieu of our lives.
I chose to belabor here because of how this move from action to passion is so precious. God is using this to transform - not just perspective, but my very life - slowly and surely. In the midst of this prolonged MCO and personal troubles, I have come to understand deep-seated sorrows within for actions largely beyond my control. Instead of resisting, I began to learn how to embrace and bear sufferings as a form of active, passionate waiting in a season that God has ordained. This has made all the difference between spiritual realities of life in Christ and absconding ruin.
A life of active-waiting awaits
I confess a hidden curiosity - what would my life look like if I embraced God's profound invitation and call to 'be led to go where I do not want to go'.
Could I let go and be content to see out my second half of life in active-waiting?
Is such a life of poverty in spirit, pining for God and passion to suffer being acted upon, truly possible?
Is this what it means for my soul to wait for the Lord more than the watchmen wait for the morning, more than the watchmen wait for the morning (Psalm 130:6)?
Let us pause and allow Father Richard Rohr to impart a few words in closing -
"Contemplation is waiting patiently for the gaps to be filled in, and it does not insist in quick closure or easy answers. It never rushes to judgment, and in fact avoids making quick judgements because judgments have more to do with egoic, personal control than with a loving search for truth"
The Universal Christ
Holy Spirit, may it so please you to illuminate our contemplation of what it means to live in your truth of active-waiting.
I sit quietly and stare at the distorted, worldly mould of an impatient heart eager for results and immediacy. Searching within, I find this to be neither a case of un-delayed gratification nor of petulant demands. It concerns healthy thy-kingdom come desires and a deeper longing to understand "wait" according to biblical tenets. With outstretched arms, I hold out the vision of a beautiful new normal beyond COVID-19, secure upon the foundation of waiting upon God. This life is one fully lived in the present moment - watchful and urgent yet at-ease and filled with expectant hope. What we could simply call 'active-waiting'.
This falls farther from Noah's precarious 40 or 150-days in the ark, and much closer to Simeon and Anna's experiences. In their words and actions - with unmistakable and careful revelation - we can resonate with a lifelong posture of waiting in devotion to God.
...a man called Simeon, who was righteous and devout...moved by the Spirit, he went to the temple courts..."Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation..."
...a prophetess Anna,...she never left the temple, worshipping day and night, fasting and praying...coming up to them [Joseph and Mary]...she spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.
And, like Mary, our innerselves repeatedly open up 'to treasure all these things [about Jesus] and ponder them in our hearts'.
(Luke 2:19, 25-38, 51)
Such a vision of active-waiting is deeply enthralling - with spirits affixed on the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. Yet if I am brutally honest - over my lifetime thus far, this kingdom-line-of-sight is more of an exception. Instead worldliness and apathy, aided by distraction, is the norm that quickly fills in the space of waiting. Perhaps I am too harsh with myself. Or not. Could this season be God's firm grace to heal and restore my interior perspective?
'There is a time for action, a time for "commitment", but never for total involvement in the intricacies of a movement. There is a moment of innocence and kairos, when action makes a great deal of sense.
There is a time to listen, in the active life as everywhere else, and the better part of action is waiting, not knowing what next, and not having a glib answer'
Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander
Here is a life where in the very centre of uncertainty - the more we wait, the clearer our destination becomes. As the fog dissipates, we smile and wonder what sort of oxymoron 'active-waiting' is. How can this be practical in a spiritual sense - some bread we can take with us for the day?
If I may suggest, this is simply a divine invitation to let our souls be poor, pining and passionate before God.
Poor in spirit, but rich towards God
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven (Matt 5:3)
And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry". "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself? This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich towards God." (Luke 12:19-21)
A great irony - we are rich towards God by becoming poor in spirit. And the kingdom of heaven is ours. In other words, when we understand our Maker desires God-dependency and not self-sufficiency, we can begin traversing the stairway of heaven from our hearts. The question is, how poor am I in spirit? How much do I comprehend the truth of my utter reliance on God - for this very next bated breath I am about to take. Oh, I shall see the kingdom with such clarity and express great riches of gratitude to God - if only - oh my spirit, you would remain poor, let go and abide in God's tender care.
Pining for God - give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning
"Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, like men waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately open the door for him. It will be good for those servants whose master finds them watching when he comes. I tell you the truth, he will dress himself to serve, will have them recline at the table and will come and wait on them" (Luke 12:35-37)
When was it when I last pined for my Lord Jesus Christ to return, to come and save me from the world's miseries? Sad to say, I can't recall such redemptive fervor and feel largely disconnected from passages such as these to remain watchful.
To be sure, the darkness around me is frigid. But within lies is a soft glow - a warm hidden ember waiting to be kindled - that of my broken spirit aching for God in fullest measure. So I arise, dress myself, find my lamp and gently place it on the altar of my heart. Like manna, I pray for daily portions of flowing oil to stay aflame. And the blessed assurance - oh, that pure joy of reclining in fellowship with You - as the door is opened and my pining soul is found wanting...watching...waiting.
Moving from a posture of Action to Passion
Action has a way of solidifying our identity. Rightly and wrongly so, perhaps.
We hear James affirm - faith without deeds is useless (James 2:20). Much of our modern day devotion, wisdom and obedience to God is derived from how Jesus ministered - teaching, healing, leading, transforming and above all, loving. This sits well with the strong cultural current to make our lives count, indeed to leave a godly legacy for the next generation. These are desires worth rejoicing countless times over...when in season.
In The Stature of Waiting, W.H.Vanstone opens our hearts and minds to another type of season - that of passion (Greek πασχω "to suffer, to be acted on"). This kind of waiting is a time of being thrust into a place of suffering and having to stay there. To understand this, we need only to think of our Lord Jesus. After ministry came another time - when He was handed over - and became the one to whom things were done. Jesus's words to Peter echoes this narrative: "...when you are old...someone else will lead you to where you do not want to go (John 21:18)."
To a certain extent, we know this 'waiting in passion'. Upon the loss of a loved one, an afflicting illness, dark nights of our soul - where hours can take forever to get by. Very little can match how excruciating these pauses were or are in the grand milieu of our lives.
I chose to belabor here because of how this move from action to passion is so precious. God is using this to transform - not just perspective, but my very life - slowly and surely. In the midst of this prolonged MCO and personal troubles, I have come to understand deep-seated sorrows within for actions largely beyond my control. Instead of resisting, I began to learn how to embrace and bear sufferings as a form of active, passionate waiting in a season that God has ordained. This has made all the difference between spiritual realities of life in Christ and absconding ruin.
A life of active-waiting awaits
Could I let go and be content to see out my second half of life in active-waiting?
Is such a life of poverty in spirit, pining for God and passion to suffer being acted upon, truly possible?
Is this what it means for my soul to wait for the Lord more than the watchmen wait for the morning, more than the watchmen wait for the morning (Psalm 130:6)?
Let us pause and allow Father Richard Rohr to impart a few words in closing -
"Contemplation is waiting patiently for the gaps to be filled in, and it does not insist in quick closure or easy answers. It never rushes to judgment, and in fact avoids making quick judgements because judgments have more to do with egoic, personal control than with a loving search for truth"
The Universal Christ
Holy Spirit, may it so please you to illuminate our contemplation of what it means to live in your truth of active-waiting.
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